What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They are not all that simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them constantly.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you will be able to move forward using the tips in this parenting guidebook.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our own. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There's no such thing as loving your child too much. To love them can't spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to cause the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what is right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let your child realize that you will always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to the needs of theirs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents who are constantly responsive have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child and your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there is an additional reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, meaning fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a happy childhood may want to alter several aspects of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you don't succeed at first. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Pay attention to your own well being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you do not pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your kid that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting along with other children. They are more apt in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression https://parentinghowto.com/ to resolve disputes.
Later on in life, they're additionally more likely to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find a variety of more effective options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a child?
If you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy good associations along with you and others, be caring and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments if you focus on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a kid and info that are backed by science, here's among my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid differs. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be a variety of effective parenting methods you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Of course, you are able to also decide to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and might nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub-par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great point is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we will eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!